Wednesday, 19 April 2017 20:39

Wat Tomson MP: A Heroic Ode

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in Poetry
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Wat Tomson MP: A Heroic Ode

Wat Tomson MP: A Heroic Ode

by Kevin Higgins

Less a man than flesh materialised
around a pair of black rimmed spectacles
stolen from the still warm corpse
of a discredited French intellectual.

Beloved of moderate trade unionists who aspire
to cross picket lines to attend
all-expenses-paid conferences on the fight
for income unhappiness held
in the mini-bars and bathrooms
of top hotels in Bromsgrove;

and future failed parliamentary
candidates for Birmingham Ladygarden
with no detectable personality
who dare dream of firing intercontinental
penis enlargements manufactured
in their own constituencies
at goats up mountains in Somalia
from warships floating
in their kitchen sinks,

though even they prefer the sight of you
pleasuring your glasses
first softly with your left
then with your preferred
hard right hand

to the dread thought of what your gut’s
doing to all the pies and ice cream the tax-
payer keeps shovelling
down the blathering hatch
in the bottom half of your face,

because when that blows
we all go up with it, and the world’s
pebble-dashed the worst
shade of brown.

Read 547 times Last modified on Friday, 21 April 2017 20:42
Kevin Higgins

Kevin Higgins is a Galway-based poet, essayist and reviewer, and satirist-in-residence at the alternative literature site The Bogman's Cannon, www.bogmanscannon.com.