On The Appointment of Director of Failed Bank
To Executive Board of Literature Ireland
for Jonathan Sugarman
My Dear Writers and Readers,
Adhering to recent Arts Council guidelines,
we are adjusting
our corporate governance structures
to include more criminal psychopaths
and people who just don’t know what they’re doing
than are allowed exist, per capita
wherever the average eejit gathers
to do his or her thing.
To this end, and furthermore, to help me,
I mean ‘us’, avail of the expertise
of those with experience running the real economy,
I am appointing to my board a man
with a wide-brimmed felt hat
who has supplied political and business
conferences down and up the country
with all levels of women.
To assist in the enforcement area
we are anointing a bloke who for our purposes
will go by the name “Anto”;
who may have unexplained income
about which the Criminal Assets Bureau
would love to have a chat
but that is none of my business or,
if you know what’s good for you, yours.
Finally, from next month
the skeleton of a different one
of David Lloyd George’s mistresses
will sit in on each of our meetings
to advise on social agility.
Kevin Higgins is a Galway-based poet, essayist and reviewer, and satirist-in-residence at the alternative literature site The Bogman's Cannon, www.bogmanscannon.com.