Deliberately Offensive Truthful Song
by Kevin Higgins
A street performer shall not act, say, do or sing anything
likely to cause alarm, distress or offence to any member
of the public, business owner, the Council, or any member
of An Garda Síochána.
- Galway City Council bylaw as of 2-1-2020
Despite the Alderman, his head a sweaty pink moon,
who wanted travellers castrated,
or at least kept behind an electric fence.
Despite the former Mayor who liked to taste
the thighs of teenage boys in a local pub’s
musty meeting room and wore
his ceremonial robes while doing it.
Despite the motion you passed overwhelmingly
against contraceptive devices and students
engaging in sensuality without responsibility.
Despite the fortune one of your number got
from coffin ships his grandfather
profitably fed to the starving
Despite the “dastardly” Rising
at whose failure you rejoiced and the diamond
welcome you gave Edward the Seventh.
Despite the lines of white powder expertly
inhaled off a professional lady’s
clavicle which none of your number
knew anything about.
you are inoffensive as a fairground
run by defrocked priests in grey raincoats;
as a former Mayor owning
a seafront casino that took
the pensions of passing widows,
the disability benefits
of bald guys with the shakes;
as a line of giant white puddings
who’ve calamitously been
The new law comes into force the day after Galway becomes European City of Culture 2020. For further details see here.
Kevin Higgins is a Galway-based poet, essayist and reviewer, and satirist-in-residence at the alternative literature site The Bogman's Cannon, www.bogmanscannon.com.