Sorry We Missed You
by Ben Banyard
Get to the depot at stupid o'clock
to load Internet impulse purchases
into a hired van using a rented handheld.
It shows you the route, simple, they said,
park wherever with your hazards on,
jump out and hand it over, no worries.
But new guys get the tower blocks
where the lifts are out of order
or front yards where dogs snarl.
Got to beat the targets, every package
ticks like an unexploded bomb -
best advice I got was to bring
an empty Lenor bottle to piss in.
By the end of the day you'll be knackered;
good luck getting some sleep.