Government press office, 26th Jan.
by Steve Pottinger
Here’s the way to spin it, boss.
Go out there, look glum,
say you take responsibility.
Don’t mention Dido, Dad, or Dom
for God’s sake. Steer clear, too,
of remembering the time you said
that a good outcome at the end of this
would be 20,000 dead.
That’s history. Tell the hacks
you’ve acted promptly at all times.
Forget trying to ape Churchill. No wise cracks
in Greek or Latin. Avoid care homes,
airports, late lockdowns, PPE.
Stick to the script. Talk of your sorrow.
Back to business as usual tomorrow.